The following post contains excerpts from Week 4 of the Fortify Program. To find more useful tips to aid you in recovery, check out the full program.


Have you ever played the game Sim City, where you’re the supreme ruler?  Well, it’s up to you what happens with your imaginary world when it comes to food, trade, employment, development, and all sorts of other stuff.

Imagine, though, just for a moment, if the game took a turn to the dark side and your new mission was to create a society that sets people up for addiction. And just for fun, let’s be more specific and focus on pornography addiction.  Are you up for it? Okay, let’s do this:

First of all, let’s remove as many barriers as possible finding a way to make porn free and quickly available in every single home. Even better—how about portable access wherever people go?

Second, let’s surround people (especially young people) with messages that make porn seem completely normal—even healthy!

And above all, we’ve got to find ways to discourage people from connecting on a deeper, emotional level.  That could ruin our plan, so we’ve got to do whatever it takes to make them avoid real intimacy.

This Game Is Real

Well, the thing about this “game,” as you’ve probably noticed, is that this isn’t actually a game. The society we currently live in is setting people up to struggle with pornography.

Now if that’s true, then maybe it’s not about you or me being weak? In fact, you’ve got to be pretty strong to rebel against a force sweeping so many people away, right? Instead of just fighting inner weakness, then, maybe we should ask: how are we going to live well in this world? Even if nothing changes in the larger society around us, are there ways to counteract or even neutralize surrounding influences so we can live the lives we really want?

The Battle Starts at Home

The environment immediately around us—our own home—is, in most cases, something we have more influence over. What happens, though, when the places that are supposed to be our safe-havens have become compromised?

Everyone needs places of real safety. No army, however it tough may be, has ever won a war without places of refuge and rejuvenation. Like a smoker trying to quit in a house of smokers, it’s hard to find real freedom from this stuff when you’re surrounded by sexualized media all the time.

If your army had been infiltrated with spies, your first question would be: How are they getting in? Where are we vulnerable to future attacks?

In the battle against porn, you can ask a similar question: How has porn infiltrated your home now or in the past? What kind of triggers surround us on a daily basis?

Make Specific Goals

Start by making an inventory of what’s going on around you day by day—the people and situations surrounding yourself at school or work or home. By knowing the details and patterns of your life,  you can discover where you are vulnerable. Although it’s nice to believe that ‘we’re strong enough,’ this is about being aware of our limitations– that for instance, you may not be someone who can spend lots of time surfing the internet randomly.

Based on this, you can then work to create a firewall between you and porn – and we mean more than just a technological firewall. This includes your set of rules, practices and routines that make your living environments—especially your home-base— start to “work for you.”

One individual decided his bedroom would become a “screen-free zone” without cell phones, computer or a TV allowed.  He told us, “It just creates a safe space in your house and whenever you’re anxious, stressed, tired, you can retreat to your bedroom and not worry about relapsing there.” He said it was a game changer for him, and added that it also helped him sleep better.

Do Whatever It Takes

It would be easy to make a half-hearted effort at this—but we’re encouraging you to give this a real shot. Imagine for a moment having a broken door at home, the same door where you’ve been attacked over and over. How committed do you think you would be to fixing that door and installing deadbolts and security systems?

You may have to be bold in our efforts to stop the porn infestation in your home, being brutally honest with yourself about your own home-turf vulnerabilities. Are you willing to make some hard choices—like moving computers into public places or removing chatting software? How about getting rid of a friend or switching jobs?And if there’s porn in your home right now, are you willing to destroy it?

Compared to the “ah, I can handle it” attitude, this is about a new awareness of our limitations and how much we can face before we’re overcome.  That knowledge allows us to create barriers and protections we might not otherwise have.

As one author said, “cut out anything within your control that causes you to stumble. Don’t compromise on the small things. Many continue to [struggle] because they refuse to adopt a take-no-prisoners approach.” Take drastic measures to achieve your goals. Be bold. Don’t sacrifice what you want most for what you want now.

Let’s do this.  It’s time to make your home environment work for you—rather than the other way around.


This post contained excerpts from Week 4 of the Fortify Program. To find more useful tips to aid you in recovery, check out the full program.